The Addiction Help .com

We constantly argue over it, he can't control how much time he spends playing or obsessively reading reviews or about new games that are to come out. He's so immature and never takes my feelings into account. What he says is most important to him always comes last (me and his children). He's always fighting for himself and his selfish needs, and I'm always fighting for US- and trying to work out our marriage. I'm so tired of it, I think I'm ready to just up and leave him, I deserve better than what he's choosing to give me.

First of all, it's not that he can't control it. It's that he won't.

Lay it out for him. He needs to step up to his real life responsibilities.

There is no possible scenario where he'll be on his deathbed thinking "I wish I'd gotten to the next level in Quake." There are plenty where he'd say "I wish my kids loved me enough to be here right now, if only I'd been more of a father to them."

2007-08-13 05:20:08 by azure

Game addiction documentary about games such as World of Warcraft and Counter-Strike created for a University project. Directed by: Jack Wanger ...

I think any dying marriage is sad, regardless of the reason.

2008-02-15 19:08:52 by Jason C. Sandstorm

Price: $2.99

i told my husband that his video game playing is ruining our marriage on several several several occasions. he just makes jokes about it and tells me how his xbox magazine had an article about the statistics of divorce due to video games and video game addiction. and then goes right back to playing the game. obviously he doesnt care how i feel or about our marriage. he's not willing to see the problem or get help for it. where do i go from here? i have a 4 year old and a 9 month old (which he ignores for the game) and they are the only human interaction i get most days. i just dont know what to do...
we have talked and he has refused to see the problem... its just his "hobby". he says its my fault for not having hobbies of my own, but i have 2 kids, theres no time for me to have hobbies. so basically i just need some reassurance that it is time to move on.

It sounds to me like this guy is really selfish.As you or your children don't seem to get any attention anyway i would ask him to leave.Have a trial separation and see if you can live without him.I bet this would give him a fright and if it doesn't he doesn't love you,you'd be better off without him.Hope this helps,be strong and don't take no more of his crap,you and your kids deserve better.

2008-10-22 23:20:55 by deliah

Price: $9.99

I am in the beginning of a divorce, a little backstory: I had developed a horrible video gaming addiction that has riddled the last 3 years of our marriage together. It caused some issues, and long discussions. This all coupled with me being a soldier and being deployed fairly often in the past couple years. We had our first child a year ago, and since then, I was really working hard to get rid of the video gaming addiction. I finally got rid of the addiction completely in April of this year, but now, she has changed her anger from the video game to now, just accusations of me cheating on her. I have not cheated on my wife, I pride myself in the amount of self control I have had in our 8 years together by NOT cheating on her. I have my own personal reasons besides it being immoral. She has told me that she does not love me any more, but it came after the accusation of me cheating on her. There is no evidence of me cheating (there truthfully cant be any) but she keeps beating that into the ground. I understand that my video game addiction (horrible thing) made her feel unloved and unappreciated. But I do love her with all my heart, and I am trying to non-smotheringly (if thats a word) show her I love her (while I am again, in Iraq) I am willing to go to counseling, I have read 6 books in the past 2 months alone on marriage, and right now, I have just done this : I told her I loved her, and I would be waiting, I have not talked to her in a short 2 weeks, and I will continue to give her space, hopefully enough time to not focus on whatever negative feelings she has, and maybe start remembering some good things.
We arent a couple that argues all the time, or fights a ton. The whole thing shocked me this year, especially the cheating accusation. I know I have lost a lot of trust because of that alone, even without actually cheating on her, which is difficult to take. I do not want to lose my wife, I dont get to see my child as much as I want to as it is, let alone even less when I am at home.
When I first got here to Iraq, I was told by her "If I wanted to talk to her every day, then I needed to find someone else" - this after many many rotations and deployments of talking to her just about every day, if not every single day. I do my best to let her know I am thinking of her while I am gone.

I am preparing for the worst, losing my dream girl, and I am hoping and praying for the best, the ability to reconcile with her, and raise a happy healthy family. (the month before this happened, we had been talking about her being a stay at home mom *her idea* as well as planning for our 2nd child, then this.. very weird, I have not been emotionally slammed like this ever in my life)

Buy a storage rental unit. Put all the games and TVs in there. Hide teh key from yourself for 2 months. Tell her that you want to spend full time working on winning her back

2008-09-17 10:39:05 by Ty

Just some background info before my question... I'm 20, my husband is 21. We have a girl who is almost 2 and are expecting another girl in April. We are new to the Army life, new to marriage (we've been together for about 4 yrs total, married for 8 mos.) and this is our first duty station halfway across the country and away from both of our families. We spend a LOT of time together because he doesn't have to work a whole lot in his job right now and I'm a stay at home mom.

Anyway...
I don't know if it's just because of the pregnancy (making me super hormonal sometimes). Or if I have a real reason to worry. Overall we have a great relationship. We don't fight any more than most couples, I'd assume. I feel like sometimes he doesn't really like me anymore? I know this is stupid but please keep reading and tell me if you feel like this sometimes, too. He plays Halo 3 a lot, which I don't really mind as long as he keeps it within reason (not playing for hours on end when there are other things to do)
He's a great dad and loves our daughter a lot, but puts all the responsibility on me, recently he's been doing this more and more. We just talked about it yesterday and he said he didn't realize that was happening. So I expected it to be better today. This is how today went:
I woke up after a horrible night of sleep to get our daughter. He chose to sleep in AGAIN after he willingly stayed up late last night.
I made her every meal today, and cleaned her off after, and gave her snacks.
I changed every diaper.
He played Halo all day and got up... twice? I think? Once to bring in the new baby's dresser from outside for me. And the other time to go rent a movie for us.
We sat down to watch the movie, but instead of watching it he was on his computer the whole time. I feel like we have said 3 words to each other all day.
I cleaned the kitchen and picked up the living room right in front of him while he played Halo.
He put our daughter to bed tonight, only after I asked him to.
After that I came up here to watch tv (which I hate doing cause it's boring and nothing's on).
He's downstairs playing Halo... still... and didn't say anything to me. Not a "goodnight." Not a "where are you going?". Not a "what do you wanna do?" I just feel so alone here as it is. It's freezing outside now and I don't drive a lot or get out much.
He just got this XBOX 360 a couple weeks ago, and has had trouble before with addiction to online gaming. Is this just another video game addiction? Or is he tired of me? He's not overworked and I'm not a nag. Sorry this is so long. I just feel so empty and I feel like my love and my feelings for him are unrequited sometimes.

Wow! This sounds like me with my ex a few years ago. He used to play video games alot too while I worked and he had recently got out of the military and moved in with me so he was getting used to the area, not having a job, no more military and his friends there....basically he was depressed. I truly feel that your husband loves you but is in a slump of his own. He sounds unsatisfied with his life to some extent and thats where the hours on end of video gaming comes in. I think LOTS of guys turn to this as a way to get away from their normal routine life.

You two are very young but live the life of those who are in their mid-30's and up. Thats depressing for a man in his early 20's. With an early marriage and children he is probably feeling the pressures of life most men face later in their years. Sounds like you really need to spice it up for him. Maybe not sexually or anything but something to break up the monotony. Do something completely different. Talk about your future dreams together or just in your own life and he can tell you about his dreams in his....make him feel that those dreams are still attainable and there is hope to get out of the slump. Otherwise it will get worse and will start to manifest in the way he feels about you and vice versa. Its ok. Most marriages go thru this period. It just takes a little perseverence and creativity.

2008-12-14 20:18:01 by ZaZa [Lily is here!]